There’s a Jon Kabat-Zinn quotation that has stuck with me for years: wherever you go, there you are.
When I was a traveler, I would get on a jet and, boom, there I was in a new place. One day Dublin, the next day Luxembourg. Is this flight going to Beijing or Sydney? In my last job, I traveled so much that I was never home more than three or four weeks at a time. Then I became a full-time vagabond and moved on average every 4-5 days. To wake up every morning in exactly the same spot for a few months is something I haven’t done in more than seven years.
For a seeker, though, the quotation has a different meaning. Wherever I go, I am there with all my personal baggage. My issues, my fears, my triggers, all that messy emotional stuff. Being a vagabond didn’t magically make all that stuff go away. I still had to deal with anxiety and depression, bouts of loneliness and worry.
One of the things I learned as a vagabond is that some structure is a good thing for me. Some days, it was the structure of moving to a new campground and all the tasks that entails. Other days, it was errand day, going into town to do laundry and grocery runs. I developed my own rhythms and routines that fit into a life of almost constant motion.
All that feels like a lifetime ago. My challenge now is figuring what works as a stay-at-home person.
I have developed a morning routine: stretch a bit, do my Morning Practice, take a walk with camera of some kind in hand, and then make a healthy breakfast. Doing this every day makes me feel a bit more organized than before, where I was just winging it. I’m not that good at winging it, as it turns out. I like having some structure. When I do my morning routine, I feel more “normal” in these abnormal times.
I’ve started making a daily TTD (Things To Do) list in the morning. I put reminders to call people, order supplies, or do an hour or two of contract work. And, yes, I put some easy tasks on the list too: walking, quilting, and reading. At the end of the day, I get to check off at least half the things on my list and that makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something more than sitting around binge-watching Mozart in the Jungle all day (my current obsession).
I’m learning to let go of my former news junkie persona. I read the news online for 10-15 minutes in the morning and that’s it. I read Heather Cox Richardson’s daily emails (and highly recommend her). I check the US and Florida COVID-19 dashboards once a day. I get enough news to know what’s going on at a macro level. I don’t dive down into the details the way I used to.
These changes have helped me get on an even keel, as the saying goes. I know enough to make decisions; I don’t even try to know everything that’s going on. I pay attention to my own mental and physical health, because that’s the most important thing I can do right now. I’m actually feeling better about life in general than I was a month ago. I’m not trying to figure out futures or control outcomes. I’m just wandering down my own path, day by day, and seeing where it leads.
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Thanks for the tip on the newsletter. I’ve never heard of her, but just checked out her site and subscribed. I’m with you… too much news is not good for the soul.
Cool, I think you’ll like her level-headed approach, her guarded optimism, and (what I appreciate most) the way she puts today’s events into context, referencing historical events. She’s the sanity in my morning (I read her emails the next morning, as I don’t know when she sleeps, but I go to bed before her emails are sent out!). Hope you three are doing OK and hanging in there.
Thanks for the comment to read heathercoxrichardson.substack.com
I love these posts, Annie. We are like-minded, down to the list making to feel organized (I make mine at night before bed) and our admiration of Jon Kabat-Zinn. Thanks, too, for the info about Heather. I just signed up for her daily report.
Hi, Anne, and glad you signed up for Heather’s reports. She makes me feel less pessimistic about the crazy stuff going on. And how funny, we both are list-makers 🙂 Perhaps we can meet up by phone or zoom or something and catch up?
I think you are learning to live in the moment Annie… that’s a good place! Take care
Suzanne, thank you! You just gave me the idea for Monday’s post!
I need to plan my day. I am on 14 day quarantine again – 9 days to go – because of surgery to put in pacemaker. I need to build up strength – for walking – want to be able to walk 5 miles and then think about maybe running a bit on trails – once the shelter in place is lifted a bit. I also need to exercise my left arm – wrist and elbow – (and not lift my left arm above my shoulder for 6 weeks – so as to not pull the leads out of my heart) and take care of other things. Without a check list – nothing much happens. I call 1-2 people every day – friends I have not seen for awhile, face-time with my kids and grandchildren, fix breakfast and lunch – order dinner from the dining room etc – amazing how time flies when not doing much. And I need to keep sane in an insane world.
So good to talk to you last night, Mary, and soooooo glad you got the pacemaker and are feeling better now. Hang in there on the quarantine. And glad you get FT with the kids and grandkids, I’m sure the latter are growing like weeds!