Over the last few weeks, I’ve felt a lot of different emotions, from grief and sadness to anger and hurt, as I worked through all the feelings from losing my older sister. There was no memorial service or funeral mass where I could gain solace or comfort from family and friends. When I wrote last week’s Sunday Serenity, I didn’t realize I was creating my own memorial to her, but that’s how it turned out.
I felt like I had been walking down a lonely path, struggling to understand the complicated circumstances surrounding her passing, so I wrote that post as a way to help me say my goodbye, in my own way, in my own space.
One of the downsides of being a solo act, as well as a vagabond, is that there’s no one right next to you to listen as the grief and sadness comes out. All the people who read last week’s post and then reached out to me made me realize, once again, that I am not alone. We all have felt loss and grief and it is when we share those deep emotions and difficult times that we are most human.
So, thank you to all the friends, the family members, and the readers I’ve never met who left comments, sent texts, or wrote emails. I read every single one, more than once, and they meant so much to me. Thank you all for your kindness, it helped more than words can say.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float…. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them.
GSnow/Reddit (read the full essay on grief here)
❤️❤️❤️
I wish you peacefulness Annie. I think that if I’m ever in need of absolute peacefulness, I will look at the last photo in this post. That’s what I define as serenity, as if nature is calling you to reflect, if only for a moment. Hugs.
I hope that, in good time, the sweet memories will soften the pain. Take care dear Annie.
I am so sorry for your loss – grief comes and goes – but I think it never leaves –
I think Willie Nelson said it best: https://youtu.be/rdtx-pxjX8A
I wish you all time and grace as you continue to visit and revisit your lifelong journey with your sister. I still miss my sister and journey with her in my mind.
Oh, Annie, I’m so sorry. In the hectic world I’m in these days (parents moved in with me last weekend), I missed your post. I was just thinking of you this morning too, as my daughter and I stood next to the African American Museum, waiting for the start of the Cherry Blossom 10 mile race. My heart and all my hugs and warm thoughts go out to you at the loss of your sister.
Laura
I’m so sorry, Annie to hear about the loss of your sister. Losing a sibling is so hard. Sending you love and light.
So sorry that you are walking with grief. Make room for it.
Annie, I was so sad to read this today. I can’t help but think of our times at HBSP and our multiple walks. Wish we could take one of those today, or soon. Love and thoughts with you.
Becky
Oh, Annie. Sending you love – and an email. Hugs, friend.
Sending lots more love.
Never gone, always remembered, I like that. Thanks for sharing it, Patty.
I once heard grief described as a sphere. The sphere never goes away but the world around it (and you) does grow over time having the impact of making that sphere seem smaller. Never gone, always remembered. This resonated with me so I will share it with you. Stay well my friend.